Monthly Archives: March 2014
Managing Expectations For Those We Love
It’s a strange thing, but this happens all the time. We tend to get angry more easily with those people close to us, especially our family members. While we can put on a smiling face with others, we may yell and shout to our wife and our children. Have you ever wonder why?
Firstly, it’s because we let down our guard when we are with people we are close to. We need not put on our mask and act like a nice person. We can be who we are. But this also signals an issue we may need to deal with. This means that we are not transformed from within. The public self is different from the private self. We may have to work more to build our inner character rather than just suppressing our inner self.
Secondly, our expectations are higher for those closer to us. We set a higher standard for them than others. We expect our spouse to understand us in every of our moves and we also expect our children to be more obedient and nicer than the others. As such, when our spouse read our signals wrongly, we flare up. When our children go against us, we get upset and angry. Perhaps, it is time for us to manage our expectations.
Giving Thanks And Feedback
The Bible tells us to give thanks in all circumstances. But this is not a license to shut up every feedback. The differentiation must be made.
To give thanks in every circumstance means that there is always something that we can thank God for in every situation. In good things or bad things, there is God’s will and purpose in it. We can give thanks to God as He reveals His plan to us.
However, in these circumstances, they may be a result of both good and bad choices. As such, there is room for improvement and change. Giving thanks and feedback can coexist together. Giving feedback does not mean we are not grateful to God. It does not negate what God is doing at all. In fact, it brings our thanksgiving further. Not only can we give thanks for the work God is doing, we can also be responsible to improve and correct the wrong we made.
However, feedback is not negative. It is given to build and not to destroy. We must not use the opportunity to give feedback as a license to criticize others. We should also take note that it is easier to give feedback than receiving feedback. It is always easy to spot something that is not right and question why we did not do it better. But we should also have the humility to receive feedback from others so that we can improve. This exercise can take place both in personal and corporate levels.
Let us be thankful to God in every circumstance, let us also be open to give feedback and receive feedback. This can bring about improvement not only in our church, but also transformation in our personal life.
Centre for Transformation and Development 